Build Your Perfect Pizza and We’ll Guess Your Age

By: Admin
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Build Your Perfect Pizza and We’ll Guess Your Age

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First things first: setting the scene. Where are you eating your pizza?

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A classic brick oven pizza house, of course.
There’s nothing like a homemade pie.
A small local place I’ve been going for years.
A trendy new spot I found online.

What’s prime pizza-eatin’ time?

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Definitely dinner!
Anytime - it’s pizza!
I prefer it for lunch.
3:00 am - drunk pizza is the best pizza

Who’s your pizza partner?

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My best friend
My significant other
Me, myself, and I, There’s more pizza that way.
My Snapchat story

You’re stuck at home but the pizza cravings are real. Where do you order from?

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Papa John’s
Pizza Hut
A local mom and pop spot
Domino’s

Without further ado: pick your crust!

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Standard flour - if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Whole wheat. It’s healthier and I can’t even tell the difference.
Cauliflower - I like to keep things interesting
Flatbread. I’m doing it for the ‘Gram.

What are you stuffing your crust with?

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Nothing! I repeat: if it ain’t broke…
Mozzarella, what else?
Veggies! Not your standard choice, but right up my alley.
Ricotta - not your average cheese.

Let’s talk sauce. You’re choosing…

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Nothing beats marinara.
Pesto, please!
BBQ, baby.
I’m in the mood for a white pizza, so bechamel!

OK, it’s getting serious. Pick your first layer of cheese:

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Grated mozzarella is where it’s at.
Vegan alternatives are actually pretty good!
I want something flavorful, like cheddar or pepper jack.
I’m going traditional here: globs of mozzarella!

And now for layer number two!

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It’s all about the mozz.
No more cheese - I’m leaving room for toppings.
Go ahead and crumble some feta on there.
I’m thinking gouda. Let’s go outside the box!

Now for the icing on the cake, so to speak. Pick topping 1:

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Is this a question? Peperoni. Duh!
I’m not really feeling any meat here. I’ll go with mushrooms.
If I have to pick: chicken.
Sausage, bacon, prosciutto - the works!

And now for topping 2:

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Uh...more pepperoni?
Pile on the veggies! Spinach, bell peppers, onions, and whatever else you’ve got!
I could go for some basil leaves right now.
Something flavorful, like red onions or olives.

Do I hear a third topping?

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Throw some more mozzarella on there *shrugs*
A little drizzle of olive oil won’t hurt… or a few drizzles.
More? I’m not a bottomless pit!
Surprise! Anchovies.

What are you drizzling on top?

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Oregano. Is there anything else?
Garlic powder, for sure.
Red pepper flakes!
Parmesan, please.

How do you like your crust to be baked?

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Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside.
Definitely on the softer side.
Not burnt, but I basically want a pizza cracker.
Honestly, it’s about what’s on the pizza for me.

What kind of crust speaks to your pizza-eating soul?

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New York thin crust is the best
Neapolitan - let’s stick to pizza’s roots!
Chicago deep dish. No brainer!
Pan style is the best style.

Do you have any pre-pizza habits?

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Uh, no...that would delay getting to eat the pizza.
I’ve been known to blot the oil off a few times…
I always drizzle on some more parmesan - you can never have enough!
If you didn’t Instagram it, did you even eat it?

How many slices is your perfect pizza?

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8 - each slice is the ideal classic size
12. Smaller slices means better portion control
4. The bigger, the better
Slices are irrelevant - I’m eating the whole thing.

What are you sipping with your pizza?

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A glass of wine, of course!
Just water for me, thanks.
A classic soda. What else?
Some craft beer I’ve never heard of.

What’s the best post-pizza dessert?

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Brownies
Cake
Ice cream
More pizza

Post-pizza evaluation: how full are you?

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I ate about two slices too many
Fairly full
That dessert did me in…
I have transcended fullness. I am pizza. Pizza is me.